Oh yeah I forgot to blog about this last week… its a piece of sad news. Its the end of an era…[read it and weep]…

Yeah, its true. Mehul sold Utopia and Earth 2025. 12 years of beautiful prose gaming, two-time winner of the Webby Award for best online game…50,000 players and a cult following…but more than all that, Utopia was my first inspiration toward designing a web game. Its what inspired me to pick up PHP/MySQL and take my first step into the world of web application development. Its what has given me the skillset I have today, unforgettable friends (Jocke, Alex, Miex, MJ…). It even inspired me to learn some regex (molesquirrel!) Granted, I’ve come a long way since then, but its still what I consider the pinnacle of prose gaming. 5 years I’ve played? Yeah. 5 years. And now, it will never be the same. We can’t even call it getting “mehul’ed” anymore because he isn’t even there. Its…saddening.

Life goes on…time waits for noone…

Time is a funny thing. We can move foward, but not backward. We can make foward time move faster through sleep, (during which we’re unconcious, suffer seizures, wake up and suffer amnesia and consider it normal), but we can’t move backward. So when I say something can trancend time, people are like wtf?

We do know however that fame, glory and soul transcends time. We just know it.

And so, my goal in life? Transcend time.

OK so today… was mediocre. I woke up, listened to a relatively uneventful sermon that probably could have been expressed more simply in 5 minutes, and went shopping for dad. Me and Esther got him a Sansa Clip (it was about $60 I think). Then I got this awesome card with Garfield on it. Haha. Its really cool.

See, when “normal” people have periods of doubt, anger and disillusionment like me, they channel it into various things. When Sam has doubtful anger and disillusionment, he writes poetry, composes music, makes graphical interfaces, programs and skriptkiddy-s. OK the first 2 make me sound like some gay guy or maybe a hopeless romantic, both of which I am surely not. I’ll assure you, I’m completely straight, and I write music/poetry for myself. No, I’m not hopelessly in love with anyone, rather, I’m completely angry at the world and how dumb people can be sometimes. And so I write. My poetry, is for myself. My music, for my own ears. Selfish, but true. I’m no emo. I’m a lyrical person, not an emotional person. Rather than let emotions control me, I let that energy flow into all my creative ability. I guess its a good thing. Keeps me sane. When I’m emotional, I blog. I’m not emotional right now. Just wanted to write something I thought about in my personal reflections.

Come to think of it, I’m pretty “artsy” as lehsah would put it. Haha. Just not in the standard “drawing” way.

Whatever I’m doing I’m seriously going nuts. “I’m never right.” Think about that statement. Were I right about it, I’d be contradicting myself. Were I wrong about it, it’d imply I’m always right, in which case I’d be wrong.

What a beautiful contradiction.

Why am I a neoconservative psychonut?

So essentially, if Josiah’s servers don’t go back up, I lose 3 years worth of my life. 3 years of logging my progress through high school, all because I failed to make a stupid backup. Oh and like 2 years of Holmdel Forums stuff. Yet I don’t care that much somehow…I want to start fresh. Junior Year is over… so yup. I’m starting here, on my laptop, where my files don’t die mysteriously. Haha.

I think…hmm. I think after 3rd mp this year, someone ripped my brain off its hinges. Thus, I currently lack the capacity to feel angry about my loss. I’m just thinking ahead, toward making a new blog that will record the next phase of my journey through life.

Wow my actual server has been down so long, I’m actually scared cause my backups are so old.
I’ve worked so hard on my blog so it’d be a pity to see it get erased…not to mention all the other stuff I left
on that server! Yeah so I’ll be updating this page regularly to keep on track.

You know what really sucks though? 3 years of high school, written into a blog thicker than a harry potter book…poof. One server outage, gone. That will teach me to back things up…

Ahem. At any rate… This is the start of Mental Stability Log V2. Sam’s way of staying sane by informing on the random. Yeah. Oh and from now on, I’m only going to use themes I design. That way, I can use this site to blog but also to showcase my web talent. Yeah.